Getting Help for Postpartum Anxiety
If anxiety and worry are making your life unmanageable, you’re not alone. Anxiety is the most common problem affecting women’s mental and emotional well-being during pregnancy and postpartum.
You might feel so worried that it's difficult to get a good night's sleep.
Fearful thoughts and feelings of panic may be making it hard for you to think clearly or make decisions.
You try to avoid certain thoughts or feelings, or situations that are stressful to manage fears or anxiety.
When you were anticipating getting pregnant and having a baby, it's likely that you expected yourself to feel happy, excited. Maybe even confident and in charge of the situation. You probably didn't imagine feeling consumed with worry that keeps you up at night, or terrified at moments when certain thoughts cross your mind. Yet this is how many moms and birthing people experience their first months or years of motherhood. Feeling out of control, overwhelmed, and helpless. This kind of anxiety is like a thief, robbing you of the ability to enjoy the time you have with your brand new baby.
Most new moms experience a certain amount of fear and anxiety. However, become overwhelmed, preoccupied, and ruled by their fears. When anxiety and fear begin to change your behavior and inform your decision making, it can become very hard to trust yourself or to ask for help from people who might be able to support you. People with a history of trauma or abuse may be especially vulnerable to anxiety and constant worry about the safety of your own children. Unwanted thoughts, fears of something bad happening or disturbing memories make it difficult to think clearly and make good decisions for yourself and your baby. Relationships can become strained, and sleep deprivation makes everything worse.
Symptoms of Postpartum Anxiety
Symptoms of anxiety can be felt in your body, your mind and often result in changes in how you go about your day. Learning to effectively manage anxiety usually involves recognizing how anxiety is affecting you -how it shows up in your daily life and impacts your ability to take care of yourself and your baby. Common signs of problematic anxiety are:
physical tension, racing heart, nausea/stomach distress, shallow breathing, tight chest
avoiding daily activities due to fear, like driving, going out of the house with the baby
relentless worry and obsessing, imagining worst case scenarios
panic
scary/disturbing intrusive thoughts, usually about harm coming to the baby
sleep disturbance due to worried thoughts or behaviors, such as frequently feeling the need to check on the baby throughout the night
avoiding certain situations or activities, such as driving or leaving the house
concern about being alone with the baby
constantly on edge, like something bad is about to happen
your body is full of adrenaline, and you’re unable to relax
worried for reasons you can't understand
unable to focus enough to get things done
All the noise and distraction that anxiety creates can drown out what you know about yourself--- your strengths and good instincts about how to be the mom you want to be. When anxiety takes over, it takes a lot of work to remind yourself of the parts of you that are strong and resilient and to listen to your own voice. If you're struggling with anxiety, here are some things to think about:
Your experience is not unusual
Anxiety during pregnancy and postpartum is common. Due to so many changes during and after pregnancy, women become more vulnerable to serious problems with anxiety during pregnancy and after delivery. According to Postpartum Support International 6 - 10% of women will develop problems with anxiety during pregnancy and postpartum(including panic, OCD, generalized anxiety, post traumatic stress), and even more will experience anxiety along with depression.
Arm yourself With Information About Postpartum Anxiety
If you're struggling with postpartum anxiety, it's important to know that it's not your fault and you didn't cause this to happen. Anxiety is treatable and with help you'll feel better. Getting support to help you manage anxiety is an important step to take. Learning to recognize and cope with your symptoms so that you can get to the root of what's causing your anxiety is a good starting point. Every woman's anxiety is experienced differently, but there are some common symptoms that you can begin to identify for yourself. Some good resources to educate yourself are:
Dropping the Baby and Other Scary Thoughts: Breaking The Cycle of Unwanted Thoughts by Karen Kleiman and Amy Wenzel
The Pregnancy & Postpartum Anxiety Workbook by Pamela S. Weigartz and Kevin L. Gyerkoe
Postpartum Support International Website postpartum.net
Carefully Consider Your Expectations of Yourself
One of the most common things women express to me is the belief that they're a bad mom because of how their anxiety is affecting them. Even if you've felt capable, competent, accomplished and in charge in other areas of your life, having a baby can lead to feelings of doubt, overwhelm, even a sense of failure. In Dropping the Baby and Other Scary Thoughts(by Karen Kleiman and Amy Wenzel, 2011), the authors write:“The period following the birth of a child is a transitional time that can challenge a woman in profound ways. She is deprived of precious sleep, she is hormonally compromised, and sometimes she is thinking things she cannot believe are crossing her mind. If a new mother experiences thoughts that are uncomfortable to her during a time when her family, friends, and society expect her to feel blissful, she is likely to be overcome by guilt and a crushing sense of failure.”
Learning how to quiet your anxiety and tune into your own instincts about how to be a mom is no easy feat. Moms are bombarded with all kinds of messages about the “right” way to parent, and how you’re supposed to feel about being a mom. There is no shortage of judgment, real and perceived. Becoming a mother changes your sense of who you are, and it's important to allow yourself explore how you're changing, growing—and how you're struggling. You've taken on the role of “mom”, and you may feel like there's no room for you to be anything else right now. It's important to acknowledge aspects of yourself and your life that feel lost or out of reach, and to make room for yourself to feel whatever you feel about how much your life has changed. Your values and beliefs, your hopes and dreams, and your most important life experiences can help you find your way to being the mom you want to be.
How Therapy for Anxiety Can Help
If you recognize some symptoms of anxiety, it’s important to know that anxiety is treatable. Even if you’re feeling stuck or confused, therapy for anxiety can help you:
learn how to calm your mind and body
stop the cycle of worry
think more clearly and make decisions more easily
develop a better understanding of yourself and what’s causing your anxiety
start to enjoy your life again
Getting Help For Postpartum Anxiety
Postpartum Depression and Anxiety are treatable. Opening up a conversation about how you're feeling can be difficult but remaining silent or trying keep up the appearance that everything is okay usually just prolongs the problem. The sooner you get help, the more quickly you'll find relief and get back to feeling more like yourself. If you'd like to learn more about how I can help, please contact me for a free consultation at (626) 808-5463 or write to me at hollyaevansmft@gmail.com
