Coping With Miscarriage: 5 Things To Know

1. Miscarriage and pregnancy loss can happen to anyone.

The experience of having a miscarriage or pregnancy loss often results in feeling isolated and alone. Miscarriage is not uncommon, but you may not have been prepared for the possibility that it could happen to you. “In our modern world, most people think that getting pregnant is easy” (Sharon N. Covington, 2023). But the reality of what it’s taking for you to get pregnant and stay pregnant can be unexpectedly difficult. The people in your life may not have an understanding of how devastating, traumatic or heartbreaking miscarriage can be. A lack of understanding or empathy for what you’re going through can lead you distance yourself from your support network in your efforts to cope and protect yourself emotionally. Protecting your privacy and allowing yourself time to grieve or manage your distress is important, AND it’s important to find ways to connect with others. Opening up to a trusted friend, communicating with your partner, or seeking out the support of a therapist or support group can help you feel less alone and more supported as you move through your experience.

2. Whether you’ve had one miscarriage, multiple losses or You’re navigating fertility issues, miscarriage often causes emotional distress.

Miscarriage and pregnancy loss is distressing for most birthing people. For some, this distress can become chronic and lead to anxiety, depression, or PTSD. Pregnancy loss can become all-consuming and recognizing symptoms of a perinatal mood and anxiety disorder (PMAD) can be difficult when you’re in survival mode or overwhelmed by your emotions. If you’re having trouble getting through the day, neglecting your self-care, or have concerns about how you’re feeling, consider talking your doctor or seeking professional help. Postpartum Support International offers a discussion tool to help you advocate for yourself: Discussion Tool | Postpartum Support International (PSI)

Also know that you don’t have to have a diagnosis or be in crisis to seek help.

3. Looking after your physical and emotional needs is extra important right now.

Pregnancy loss impacts you physically and emotionally. You may need to adjust how you tend to your needs and think differently about what self-care looks like for you—-for now. In her book “Infertility and PTSD: The Uncharted Storm”, Joanna Flemons outlines some important questions to ask yourself to help you build an understanding and awareness of your self-care needs including:

• Am I getting enough sleep, exercise, and nutrition?

• What people or activities in my life are helping me? What is hindering me?

• Do I have enough support?

• Who are my people?

• Am I being gentle with myself or pushing myself too hard?

• Am I setting good limits with others where I need to?

(Chapter 14, Self Care. Joanna Flemons, 2018)

4. No matter how well you take care of yourself or how much time has passed, recovering from PMADs or PTSD caused by pregnancy loss often requires professional support.

Events like fertility challenges, miscarriage/pregnancy loss and other medical complications during pregnancy, labor and delivery are commons causes of PMADs or PTSD. Birthing people with history of trauma, childhood trauma/abuse at increased risk for PTSD. Some of the kinds of experiences that are commonly traumatic include:

• Fertility challenges

• Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

• Neonatal loss/death of an infant

• Medical complications during pregnancy, childbirth, or postpartum

5. Help is available, You don’t have to go through this alone.

Support and connection is so important as you create your own family and navigate the ups and downs along the way. Here are some resources to help you find the kind of help you need:

Therapist Network | Touchstone Institute

Postpartum Support International - PSI

Homepage | RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association

Return to Zero: H.O.P.E. (rtzhope.org)

Let me know when you’re ready to talk.

Reaching out for help is a big step and I want to make the process as comfortable and easy to understand as possible. To get started, just call or email me to schedule your free consultation. I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

Resources Cited:

Fertility Counseling: Clinical Guide, by Sharon N. Covington, 2023

Infertility and PTSD: The Uncharted Storm, by Joanna Flemons, LCSW, 2018