Getting Help for Postpartum Anxiety(Perinatal Anxiety)
When you venture into parenthood, it's natural to experience some level of anxiety. So how do you know when your anxiety has become a problem?
Most new parents experience a certain amount of apprehension or anxiety about having a baby. However, some become overwhelmed and preoccupied by fears/worries. According to Postpartum Support International, 6% of pregnant people and 10% of postpartum people develop anxiety- sometimes alone, and sometimes with depression.
When anxiety and fear begin to change your behavior and inform your decision making, it can become very hard to trust yourself, and hard to ask for help from people who can support you. If there's a history of trauma or abuse, you may be especially vulnerable to anxiety and constant worry about the safety of your own children; or you may notice that past traumas are resurfacing. Unwanted thoughts, fears of something bad happening or disturbing memories make it difficult to think clearly and make good decisions for yourself and your baby. Relationships can become strained, and sleep deprivation makes everything worse.
All the noise and distraction that anxiety creates can drown out what you know about yourself, and amplify your self-doubt, lack of confidence, and self- criticism. When anxiety takes over, it takes a lot of work to stay connected to the parts of you that are strong and resilient. If you're struggling with anxiety, here are some things to think about:
Arm yourself With Information About Postpartum Anxiety
Symptoms of anxiety can be felt in your body, your mind and often result in changes in how you go about your day. Learning to effectively manage anxiety usually involves recognizing how it shows up in your daily life and impacts your ability to take care of yourself and your baby.
Common signs of problematic anxiety are:
physical tension, racing heart, nausea/stomach distress, shallow breathing, tight chest
avoiding daily activities due to fear, like driving, going out of the house with the baby
relentless worry and obsessing, imagining worst case scenarios
panic
scary/disturbing intrusive thoughts, usually about harm coming to the baby
sleep disturbance due to worried thoughts or behaviors, such as frequently feeling the need to check on the baby throughout the night
feeling nervous, on edge for most of the day
avoiding certain situations or activities, such as driving or leaving the house
concern about being alone with the baby
Some good resources to educate yourself are:
Dropping the Baby and Other Scary Thoughts: Breaking The Cycle of Unwanted Thoughts by Karen Kleiman and Amy Wenzel
The Pregnancy & Postpartum Anxiety Workbook by Pamela S. Weigartz and Kevin L. Gyerkoe
Postpartum Support International Website postpartum.net
Carefully Consider Your Expectations of Yourself
In Dropping the Baby and Other Scary Thoughts (by Karen Kleiman and Amy Wenzel, 2011), the authors write about new parents: “The period following the birth of a child is a transitional time that can be profoundly challenging in profound ways. She is deprived of precious sleep, she is hormonally compromised, and sometimes she is thinking things she cannot believe are crossing her mind. If a new mother experiences thoughts that are uncomfortable to her during a time when her family, friends, and society expect her to feel blissful, she is likely to be overcome by guilt and a crushing sense of failure.”
Learning how to manage anxiety is no easy feat. Parents are bombarded with all kinds of messages about the “right” way to parent, and how you’re supposed to feel about being with your baby. There is no shortage of judgment, real and perceived.
Becoming a parent is life altering, and it's important to allow yourself to explore how you're changing, growing—and how you're struggling. You've taken on a whole new role of parent, and you may feel like there's no room for you to be anything else right now. It's important to acknowledge aspects of yourself and your life that feel lost or out of reach, and to make room to feel a wide range of feelings about how much your life has changed.
Getting Help For Postpartum Anxiety
Postpartum Depression and Anxiety are treatable. Opening up a conversation about how you're feeling can be difficult but remaining silent or trying keep up the appearance that everything is okay usually just prolongs the problem. The sooner you get help, the more quickly you'll find relief and get back to feeling more like yourself.
